DEEP THOUGHTS by Annonymous

an old email i found from 2003:
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Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.

If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much."

If you're ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don't stop and think of what other words have "under" in them, because that's probably the first sign of jungle madness.

Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?

You know one thing that will really make a woman mad? Just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.)

If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, "Well, technically that's illegal." It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party.

How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.
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V.